Sometimes I have this intense, irrational rage toward strangers.

A guy who lives in my complex yelled at me the day before I put Shamus to sleep. "Aren't you going to pick that up?" he screamed from his balcony as I walked Shamus for almost the last time. I was snotty faced and red from crying all day, and I hadn't remembered to bring a bag with me. When he yelled at me, I started to cry all over again.

Of course, he had no idea what I was going through at that moment. He had no idea how miserable and sad I was. It doesn't matter. I've hated him ever since. We used to exchange polite hellos, but now when we pass each other on the way to our apartments, I don't offer a hello. I walk really fast and look right past him.

I'm sure he cries about it all day and night.

I hate his ex-wife, too. She comes on Wednesdays to drop off their son, and she always double parks. She's never blocked my car, but still! It's just so fucking inconsiderate, you know?

Anyway, when I saw her for the first time, I thought she lived in the complex and I said hello to her as we passed each other. She walked right past me and didn't say a word. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that time, because after all, maybe she didn't hear me. Maybe she was having a bad day. Who knows?

The next Wednesday, I said hello again. She sped right past me, nose in the air, and didn't say a word. Can you believe that? Let me tell you, there is nothing I hate more than people who ignore you when you say hello.

But here's what makes me really fucked up and psycho: at that moment, I began plotting my petty revenge. The next time I saw her, I vowed to show her what I thought of her. I looked forward to the next Wednesday.

The next week, when I saw her coming down the walkway toward her ex-husband's apartment, I held my head overly high. I stuck my nose very high in the air, as she had done, and I sped past her, mocking the way she walked.

I know it was petty. I know it was lame and pathetic. But DAMN, it was fun.

Yes, I will be 6 years old on Saturday.