Such a Mean Trick.

ME: So, did you get the Janeane Garofalo and David Cross pictures back yet?

D: Well, yeah. I wanted to talk to you about that.

ME: Why, do I look hideous? What?

D: Well, you know, it was a pretty exciting night, and we were both kind of nervous.

ME: Yeah okay I know I know I know. How did they turn out?? Do I have a booger or something?

D: Not exactly.

ME: Yeah, so? Come on, how do they look?

D: Okay, so here's the thing: would you be pissed if I cut off the top of your head in the David Cross picture?

ME: Oh no. You didn't.

D: Not your whole head, just the top, right above your eyes.

ME: You have got to be shitting me. You didn't do that! Tell me you didn't do that!

D: I'm just asking if you'd be pissed off. I mean, remember, just the top of your head. Right above the eyes.

ME: I can't believe you decapitated me in my one and only picture with David Cross! Right above the eyes? I hate you so much!

D: So, you'd be pissed, then.

ME: Yes, I'd be pissed. I'd be furious. I'd break up with you. And then I'd kill you. KILL YOU!! Tell me you didn't do it! Arrggggh! Did you did you did you?!

D: No, I didn't.

ME: You didn't?

D: I didn't. Your pictures turned out fine. YOU cut off MY head.

ME: ...

ME: Um, I love you?