I went to dinner the other day with a former coworker, and it was really nice to talk to an adult female who is not just dying to have a baby. It was so refreshing. Most women in their late 20s in Orange County are married and have children or want nothing more than to be married and have children. It makes me feel so, so lonely and old. Do you know what I mean? I've written about this before. I need to widen my circle of friends, is the bottom line.

Unfortunately all of my coworkers are freshly out of college and are just way, way different from me. I was in bed last night watching this HBO special about Monica Lewinsky and she was talking about being an intern, and for whatever reason, it hit me: I started college 10 years ago. Ten years ago! I can't even believe it. THAT made me feel old. And I realized that I am very different from the person I was when I started college, and very different even from who I was when I graduated.

By the way, the Monica special was really good. It was just her, alone on a stage, fielding questions from people at some college. Most people were really supportive and encouraging, with the "you were a victim!" view, but some people were really angry. One guy said he found it hard to believe that she's trying to get on with her life, the way she claims she is, when she courts HBO for specials and gets paid a lot of money for them. Everyone seemed really shocked and angry that he would dare say something like that, even though he said it in a really nonconfrontational way.

I think when the scandal first broke I was really angry with her for playing the victim and claiming she was "mentally abused" by the President. The thing I focused on at that time was how Chelsea must have felt, and how Monica probably never thought about that when she was on her knees and flashing her thong. I definitely put most of the blame on Clinton, but I didn't see Monica at all as a victim.

Now I think I see it a bit differently. She was an idiot for engaging in an affair with him, but I've been an idiot too, and I look back and cringe. I look back at some things I've done, and I don't know the person who did them. I feel very removed from who I was when I did them. So maybe that's how she feels now, too. It's been a long time.