Why is it that my first reaction is to take everything personally and blame myself? I'm not referring to any specific recent incident, but I'm just wondering why in general.

For example, if someone offends me my first inclination is to assume I deserve it instead of thinking, "That fucker! He/she totally just offended me!" I do this in like, 8 out of 10 situations. I've only recently started to realize that things are not automatically my fault, and then I want to go back in time and yell at the person, like I should have in the first place. Do you know how many imaginary throw-downs I've had with this one bitch Gabby in college? Or with nasty sales clerks? Oh, the sales clerks! "Excuuuuuse me for bothering you, Miss Bitchy Sales Clerk. I was just trying to spend some of my hard-earned money in this shit-hole establishment."

OK, no. I would probably never say anything like that. But you know what I mean?

Why am I writing this? It's boring to read. Sorry.