I am officially a late bloomer. I had suspected as much for quite some time, but it was nice to have it confirmed by someone in the dental profession.

I love to worry unnecessarily and unremittingly about things, so from the moment I first felt the tiny little bump behind my upper left molar about two weeks ago, I'd been obsessively researching wisdom teeth and their possible complications on the Web.

According to various Web sites, an emerging wisdom tooth is very dangerous. It's prone to infection and cysts, and can even cause constant, alienating bad breath and an everlasting bad taste in the mouth. Lovely. In addition, emerging wisdom teeth can cause teeth previously straightened by braces to shift out of alignment.

To add insult to injury, removing a wisdom tooth when you're past your twenties can cause a lot of complications, including bone loss, nerve damage and such wonderful-sounding things as "dry rot."

As the image of myself with a stinky, nasty mouth and crooked, fucked up teeth solidified in my mind, I picked up the phone and scheduled a dental appointment. To be honest, the chance of infection and rot wasn't the deciding factor for the rush appointment - it was the danger of having crooked teeth. Vanity and the thought of having braces again at the age of 30 drove me to the dentist's office.

When I went in for the exam, I mentioned to the technician who took my x-rays that I could feel a wisdom tooth coming in. "Really," she said. "How old are you?"

"30," I said, wincing slightly. It was the first time I'd been asked my age since my birthday.

"Huh," she said. "30. You're a late bloomer. Wisdom teeth usually emerge in the teens and early twenties, if they're going to come in at all." She chuckled. "Although the long-term effects of gravity could probably have something to do with yours."

I resisted the urge to bite her as she positioned the x-ray machine near my jaw.

Luckily, my dentist said he saw no sign of infection around my wisdom tooth, and that it was coming in straight and not putting pressure on any of my other teeth. In his opinion, there would be no need to remove the tooth. "The worst thing that will happen is you'll experience some teething pain. You're too old to remember what teething pain is like, but it isn't pleasant. Use Ambesol to dull the irritation."

I felt myself grow inexplicably hot in the face, and after a second, I realized what it was: turning 30 has made me hypersensitive about people saying I'm "too old" for anything, even something like teething. Jesus. I need to get over it.