So that fool the D.C. Sniper finally wizened up and decided to quit representing himself in court.

I mean, please. Why does anyone still think that's a good idea? Have people not heard about Dr. Kevorkian? He got 25 years. That jackass who shot up all those people on the commuter train? He got 200 years. And Ted Bundy? He was an actual lawyer, and he STILL got his ass executed. So if you're thinking about committing some crimes and standing trial for them, listen: let the damn lawyers do their job. Your job is to sit there behind that little table and doodle nonsensical stuff onto a legal pad and look humiliated and remorseful.

I know it seems like I feel strongly about this. I just think it's kind of funny. When Colin Ferguson (the commuter train murderer) cross examined witnesses during his trial, it went something like this:

CF: And when you entered the train, what did you see?

Witness: I saw you shooting people.

CF: And are you sure that the person you saw was me?

Witness: Yes. Very sure.

CF: Ahem. Ok, what did you see next?

Witness: I saw you trying to shoot me.

CF: No more questions for this witness.

I swear to you, that's how it went! And if that doesn't make you giggle, you are not my friend.