This is the Valley, Vincent.
Marsellus don't got no friendly
places in the Valley.

First thing's first: star sighting Friday night. Who? Q.T.

That's Quentin Tarantino, for those of you who've never met him. That's right, D and I met Quentin Tarantino Friday night.

OK, fine. D met him. I stood next to D and cringed. I can't imagine actually approaching a "star" out in the wild to tell him or her that I'm a fan. It's like, please. They probably want nothing more than to sit in peace and eat their dinner or read their magazine or whatever else they happened to be doing before you so rudely interrupted.

Normally D has the same take on this, but he couldn't not talk to Quentin Tarantino. Pulp Fiction was one of his all-time favorite movies (wasn't it everyone's?) when it was first released. Try to remember back to the time when telling a story out of sequence and peppering dialogue with a million pop culture references was a revolutionary idea. Come on. You remember!

Let me back up to the actual star sighting circumstances. It was Friday night. We were hungry and decided to go to Bob's for dinner. We drove by Bob's and immediately decided to go somewhere else, because of the crowd waiting outside. We were greatly disappointed. Bob's is one of our favorite places to grab a quick bite. Two words: chili spaghetti. Daaaamn. Don't knock it 'til ya try it.

We made our way over to plan B, Mo's. Also way crowded.

Our third choice was Paty's, a coffee shop on Riverside Drive. D and I HATE Paty's. First of all, I can't stand the lighting in there. Don't laugh. Lighting is everything to a satisfactory meal. Who wants to eat clam chowder under flourescent lighting? Who wants to do anything under flourescent light? I sure don't. So I hate the lighting, and D says the food tastes like "ass," but Paty's won out in the end because we were starving, it was close, and there was no wait.

As I'm eating my clam chowder, in walks a tall guy in a striped shirt and jeans who looks vaguely like Quentin Tarantino, but puffier and older. I stare at him as he gets closer, and he sees me staring.

I want to clarify right now that normally I am an excellent star sighter. I pride myself on NOT staring, in fact. But in this particular case, I didn't realize it was him until he was practically in my face. He sat in the booth diagonal to us, facing away from me. Most certainly by design.

"Wow," I said under my breath to D. "You're not going to beli-" At this point, D turned all the way around and stared directly into Quentin Tarantino's face. "Wow," he said, not quietly. "That's really cool."

"Hey," I said. "He can probably hear you." I don't know why, but it's very important to me when I see a star that the star doesn't realize I'm impressed at seeing a star.

"So what? I'm sure he's used to it."

"I know he's used to it. That's not the point."

"Well, then, so what?"

I decided not to answer, so as to end the conversation.

We finished our meal and D paid the bill. As we passed Quentin's booth, I heard D say, "Excuse me."

"Yes?"

"Mr. Tarantino, I just wanted to tell you that Pulp Fiction changed my life. It's the reason I moved out here. And I loved Kill Bill, too."

"Well, thanks, man. I'm glad you liked it." At this point Quentin stuck out his hand for D to shake, and they shook. "Good luck to you."

"Thanks."

It was a very pleasant encounter, and Quentin looked genuinely pleased and not bothered at all.

As we walked out to the car, D said, "I can't stand Quentin Tarantino anymore."

"What??"

"Seriously. I can't stand him. He's so arrogant. Kill Bill was great, but besides Resevoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, everything else has sucked. Jackie Brown? Sucked."

"Well, why the hell did you say something to him then?"

"Because. I really did love Pulp Fiction back then."

"Yeah, I know, Mr. 'it changed my life.'"

"It did! It made me want to write movies, which is why I moved out here."

"Wait a minute. I thought I was the reason you moved out here."

"Well, you were."

"Me and Quentin Tarantino."

"Yep. You and Quentin Tarantino."

"I think I should be offended by this."

"Let's go drive around Mulholland and look at the view."

"Sounds good to me."