Go shorty, it's my birthday.

Another year older and wiser. Well, older for sure, anyway. I promised myself I'd try not to reflect too much on the state of my life on my birthday, which I always do. I have so much to be happy about, but of course I can never leave it at that - I always have to think about the things I don't have, and that sucks. So this year, I'm thinking of my birthday as just another day and not some sort of fucked up milestone.

I'm lying.

I cannot help but reflect and evaluate and regret, because that is my nature. However. However! It is also my nature (more so in recent years) to be hopeful and joyous and content, so I'm remembering to feel all of those things today as well. Yes, I think I imagined my life differently as a kid (didn't we all?), and yes, there are times when I don't believe I measure up to all the bullshit standards society/culture tries to make us believe we have to meet.

But I'm generally happy and grateful and feeling good about things. Good relationship? Check. Good friends? Check. Loving family? Check. Career I adore? Uh, well. Not so much. But I have a ton of freedom and a paycheck that more than allows me to do the things I want, including a trip to Europe this July.

I think, actually, that a certain amount of discontent is healthy. Sometimes I think I need more discontent and less complacency in my life to push me along. It's good to think about the things I want to work on this year, and I have a ton of exciting things I want to try. I want to make this year especially full and juicy and exciting, jam-packed with activity and new adventures.

***

I received a ton of kick-ass birthday loot. First of all, last Friday my mom, aunt, cousin and I took a tour of Beverly Hills gardens. It was an all-day chickfest, and it was lovely. In addition to the amazing gardens, the tour included a spectacular luncheon. It was really fun. (Especially gawking at all of the Beverly Hills facelifts. You should've seen them! I don't know who these old ladies think they're fooling. Seriously, if you're 85 years old, throw in the damn towel already when it comes to looking young. Give it up!) This was my mother's gift to me (the price of the tour/luncheon ticket).

I also asked for and received from various people: this book and this book on running for women; a fancy-schmancy pedometer; several world music CDs; a gorgeous emerald and diamond pendant (dainty and cute and not gaudy or anything); two aprons, a specific request, because I am really into baking and cooking this year; several Borders gift certificates (always appreciated); this book; a watch; and Mullholland Drive DVD (SUCH a good movie!) And tonight D and I are going to have fondue for dinner, and you know how I feel about fondue. You don't? Well, I LOVE IT.

And tomorrow morning I am going for a nice, long, stress-relieving run to kick the year off right. And to work off the fondue, of course.