I think I can finally call myself a runner. When it started to rain today during my run, I kept going. I know - it shocked the hell out of me too. Mind you, it wasn't pouring or anything. It was just a steady sprinkle. But still! I kept going! Man. I hardly know myself anymore.

***

Wedding planning shit has taken up a lot of my time lately. D and I have finally found the perfect venue, and it's going to be a hell of a party. And most likely, there will be no dancing!

D and I loathe dancing, and while we were walking to the coffee shop last night, we talked about how we dread weddings because there's always someone who feels the need to pressure non-dancers into dancing. We discovered that we were both secretly dreading our wedding because we assumed that, being as it is, you know, our wedding, we wouldn't be able to avoid the dancing. That got us thinking about how we'd probably dread a lot of the other typical wedding stuff, too. Most weddings are boring, tedious affairs, even for the couple getting married. We didn't want that. So our venue is very different, and it will be very fun. I'm looking forward to planning the rest of it.

***

Wedding planning has brought up a lot of other issues that I've been trying to ignore for a long time. Making out the guest list and trying to estimate who would actually show up was somewhat emotional.

See, the thing is, I will be very sad if certain people don't come to my wedding. Very sad. Since D and I are keeping the guest list pretty short (which is extreeemly difficult, considering we both have large families), we're only inviting friends who are important to us, and if certain people don't show, well... I'll be sad. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm afraid to find out who my real friends are.

I know, I know... It's just one day, some people legitimately will not be able to come for reasons that have nothing to do with their lack of affection for me, the people who really care about me will show up and if they don't, fuck 'em, blah, blah, blah...

I know.

I'm just saying, I think I'll be sad. I'd be lying if I said that it wouldn't change what I thought of them.

***

So, in other news, I'm still trying to lose some damn weight. Last week I weighed myself and was devestated to discover that I was 2 pounds heavier than when I started running. Two. Pounds. Heavier. Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Don't even start with the whole "it's muscle" bullshit. I measured my waist, and I'm definitely fatter. I can't pretend I don't know why, either. I'm eating too goddamn much and I don't drink enough water.

The good news is, I weighed myself this morning, and I have lost four pounds. I'm pleased, but I'm still pissed at myself for not losing more than that after doing all this damn running.

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This blog has turned into nothing but "I love running, I'm fat, I'm sad." Sorry 'bout that. Those aren't my my prevailing feelings, and there are much more important/entertaining things going on in my life. I'll try to write about those things sometime, eh?