I'm feeling a bit off-kilter.

Is it me, or do you also feel completely strange and not yourself at all when returning from a long vacation?

I'm sort of attributing it to jet lag, but I don't know - I think it might be something else. What is it? I don't know.

Sleep has been heavy, sludgy and fitful. I dream strange dreams (last night an ex-boyfriend appeared to tell me that he is now a famous bullfighter in Spain) and wake up feeling disoriented and anxious. Unlike usual, the feeling doesn't dissipate in the morning.

What the fuck?

I can't seem to shake this feeling of discontentedness about everything. You know how sometimes you start thinking about the Big Stuff in your life and how you need to Fix Stuff and how Time is Running Out and you need to Get Your Shit Together, like NOW? Usually that feeling goes away after a few days and I realize that Everything is OK and there is no Crisis to Be Averted, I'm just being emotional and silly. For some reason, that ain't happening.

Eh, whatever.

So, Europe. It was good. We were scheduled within an inch of our lives the entire time, so it was pretty exhausting, but I was thrilled with how much we were able to see and do. It all seems like kind of a blur now.

I hate reading accounts of other people's vacations, so I'll just say it was marvelous for the most part (except for the fact that my feet were KILLING me due to all of the walking).

I liked Versailles a lot. I had one of those moments where you want to stop and drink it all in and relish it for as long as you can, because you know you'll be thinking about it when you're an old shriveled-up hag stuck in a nursing home because your ungrateful children never fucking visit and goddamn it, why does it always smell like piss and ammonia in here? with no joy except the memory of the time you were in France and stood on the banks of the Grand Canal, right at that golden hour when the sun was shining kind of magically through the trees and you were surrounded by happy families and couples in love as you ate the most delicious ice cream cone in your life while watching people canoe on the water in precious white boats.