Kitty Cat Night Game Trophies

A few mornings ago I had quite a shock as I opened the door to leave for my run. As I stepped out onto the welcome mat, I came THIS CLOSE to stepping on a perfectly skinned rat.

It was at once horrifying and fascinating. The rat appeared to have been skinned with the precision of a skilled surgeon. The head was intact and had not been skinned, but the rest of the rat's body was perfectly, pristinely absent of fur. I could see all of the muscles and tendons in the rat's body, which was not mutilated or bloody at all.

The rat was so perfectly skinned that I briefly theorized that someone had skinned this rat and placed it on our doorstep as a warning of some sort, perhaps a threat against our constantly barking dogs.

I dismissed this theory quickly because it is stupid.

I next imagined that there had been an epic battle in our neighborhood the night before, with the rat putting up a valiant struggle but in the end succumbing to the cat's superior hunting skills.

I was sad for the rat and not happy at all for the cat, which clearly had been a bored, well-fed housecat. Otherwise, I theorized, the rat would have been completely eaten and not simply skinned.

I imagined next that the cat was well-known amongst the neighborhood rats and squirrels as an evil, insatiable thrill killer to be avoided at all costs. "Did you hear about José?" they'd say to each other. (I named the rat José. Don't ask me why.) "He was SKINNED last night. The cat didn't even EAT him, just skinned his ass." "Whoa. That's fucked up." "Fucking ay."

Did I mention that when I was growing up The Secret of Nimh was one of my favorite movies?