I had a really bad dream last night. I'm not going to tell you about it, because reading about someone else's dreams is boring sometimes.

Suffice it to say this dream brought up all of my issues - daddy issues, mommy issues, abandonment issues, body image issues, rejection issues. That's a lot of issues, huh? Bet ya didn't know I had that many. I kind of forget I have them myself, most of the time. Anyway, this dream brought them all back.

So I woke up in a pretty bitter mood, and it wasn't even time to get ready for work yet. "What can I do to put myself in a better mood?" I thought. There was only one answer. The drug of the masses: television.

TV puts me in a good mood, damn it. I'm not ashamed. It's like a sedative. I can have a really horrible day at work, but if I come home and there's a good movie on, it all goes away. Ahhhhhh... the TV coma. Ain't nuttin' like it.

So I turned on the TV, and guess what. My friend TiVo had recorded a surprise for me. (Don't get me started about TiVo. If TV is the drug of the masses, TiVo is the really good crack.)

I then proceeded to watch THE BEST SHOW EVER, aka "Average Joe."

Have you heard of this?? Oh my God. It's SO good. Let me briefly explain the premise: It's like any one of the million reality shows on right now - 25 guys vying for the attention of one gorgeous girl, and she has to choose one of them to marry or whatever. Old news, right? Right. Borrrring.

Only this show's different. See, the girl (blonde, beautiful, fake boobs, etc.) expects to have 25 hot guys to choose from, but instead they're ... not hot. OK. Sigh. They're ugly.

This was the episode where the ugly guys (by now bonded and having established "rank" among themselves) have to suddenly compete with three new, hot guys.

It was SO fun to watch the blond girl pretend to still be interested in the ugly guys. SO FUN. She made out with one of the new hot guys on the FIRST night! If you are a fan of observing human foibles, you MUST watch this show. It's like Sociology 101. One guy must be the alpha male. There must be a zeta. The female will attach herself to the one with whom she has a better chance of creating healthy offspring, aka the one with bigger pecs.

I felt really, really bad for the ugly guys, but damn, it was interesting to watch. I forgot all about my bad dream, what with all of the hijinks. It was just so ridiculous. In the scenes for next week they have the girl dress up in a fat suit and pretend to be her own cousin, suppposedly so she can see how much looks really matter to the guys. Ha ha. That is such a stupid, insane idea. I'll be watching, though. It should be good.