I must say I'm very proud of myself. I managed to work out four times last week and twice this week so far. Listen: this is quite the accomplishment. You have no idea.

I am by nature a sedentary being. As a child, I preferred to be indoors, reading or daydreaming or whatever (so did you, come on, you know it) instead of out. As an adult, nothing's changed, really. Especially since I moved in with D. We read. We play videogames (Fable, anyone? Halo? Dance Dance Revolution? [Shut up. It's totally fun.]). We see an alarming number of movies and eat out.

Oh my God, the eating out. Up until recently, we dined out almost every meal, and not only that, but we had to have dessert. Oh, the dessert! I christened last summer "The Summer of Pie" because I ate pie nearly every day. Strawberry pie, cherry pie, apple pie. Banberry pie. Boysenberry pie. Pie, Pie, Pie. Anytime was a good time for pie. After a movie? Coffee and pie. After a long day of running errands? Dinner and pie. Bored on a weeknight with nothing to do at midnight? House of Pies is open 'til two! Pie!

The Summer of Pie led to The Fall of The Hell With It, Everyone Eats Like a Fucking Pig During the Holidays. And make no mistake - the pie did not stop, it just changed. Not strawberry pie, but pumpkin. Not fresh peach, but sweet potato. And pecan. And Boston cream. And cheesecake. Sigh. And on top of that? Tamales and turkey and ham and mashed potatoes and that goddamn greenbean casserole. It was bad. The Fall of the Hell With It, Everyone Eats Like A Fucking Pig During the Holidays finally led to the Winter of, well, The Winter of My Discontent, if you will.

So now that it's spring, I'm looking forward to a new beginning. The other day I said to myself, "Self, it's time to do something other than sit on your fat ass and eat everything you want." And this time I mean it.

And you know what's great? My body has not completely atrophied! I neglected it for so long, and yet it's coming through like a champ for me. I half expected to drop dead from exhaustion the first time I worked out, but no. I huffed and puffed a little and then settled into the rhythm. My legs did not buckle beneath me. My heart did not explode out of my chest. The veins throbbing in my forehead throbbed, but did not burst. It was amazing. It feels great. I actually look forward to working out every morning, is that not CRAZY? It is!

So here's to what I have tentatively titled the Spring of New Beginnings(And Some Pie). Because let's be realistic, here. A life without any pie at all ain't no kind of life at all.