You know what's hard? Christmas shopping for your boyfriend's mother. D was no help. "Don't spend too much money," was his only suggestion.

Finally I found a nice frame and a little jewelry box, which I thought were appropriately pretty and boyfriend's-mother worthy. I thought it'd be nice to put a picture in the frame before sending it. The only recent pictures from which to choose were taken this year in August at Captiva.

D: I don't want to send a picture of me.
Me: How about that one of her and her sisters?
D: She doesn't get along with one of her sisters.
Me: OK. How about one of the grandkids? She likes both of them, right?
D: Yeah, but we don't have any good shots of them. I think we should put in one of the two of us.
Me: Absolutely not. I don't want to presume that she wants a picture of me. Forget it. Let's just not put anything in there.
D: Fine.
Me: Fine.

The next day...

D: I mailed out your gift to my mother. I put a picture in the frame after all.
Me: Really? Which one?
D: I found one of her and [her granddaughter] and my sister.
Me: OK, that's cool.
D: The thing is, it's not a very good one. My mother looks kind of weird in it.
Me: What? Weird how?
D: Her eyes are half shut, and she looks kind of out of it. Come to think of it, it's a pretty bad picture.
Me: Shut up.
D: What?
Me: You didn't send that one.
D: Yeah, I did. So what?
Me: Why'd you do that???
D: It was the only one that fit.
Me: You're telling me that you sent an UGLY picture of your mother to her, from ME?
D: (maniacal laughter)
Me: You're joking.
D: (still laughing) No, I just didn't think it was that big of a deal. But now that you put it that way, I guess I shouldn't have.

So yeah. Merry Christmas, D's Mom. Have an ugly picture of yourself! Gawd.